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You'll be so fat after Thanksgiving that your next Facebook profile pic will have to be taken by a drone.

Bird Shopping

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. "Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left."
He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That one is too skinny. What else do you have?" says the man.The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

Singing Turkey

Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.