Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Christmas Bet

Joe and Tom went to a bar after a company Christmas party. After several hours of drinking, Joe said he'd give Tom $20 if he'd take one sip out of a large spittoon at the end of the bar.
Tom: "No way, man. That's disgusting!" Joe: "What if I offered you $50, then would you do it? Just one sip??" Tom: "Uh. No. Even for $50, that's just too gross!" Joe: "Well…what if I offered you $100? C'mon…it's just one sip!" Tom: "Well…I guess it won't kill me and I really can't turn down that offer. I could use the extra cash for Christmas."
So…Tom picks up the spittoon to take a sip and keeps on drinking from it…glug…glug…glug…
At this point, Joe is repulsed and says to Tom: "Alright, already! STOP! You're grossing me out. You only had to take ONE sip!!"
Tom promptly empties the spittoon, puts it back on the bar, wipes off his mouth and sits down next to Joe.
Joe: "Why did you do that??? That's was SO disgusting!! The bet was for you to take ONE sip and you drank the whole damn thing, I think I'm gong to puke!"…to which Tom replied: "I couldn't stop. It was all one piece."

Anonymous

Santa Check

He's making a list, he's checking it twice. Three times. Four. Five. Six. Seven.
Santa's OCD is getting out of hand.

Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Reindeer Clean

Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Procter and Gamble?
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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