Adult Speak

The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.
First Pupil: "I visited my Nana." Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."
Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo." Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."
Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time." Teacher: "Excellent. And what was the name of the book?" Third Pupil, with a big grin: "Winnie The Shit!"

Blonde's Cooking

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Clothing State

What kind of clothes are there?
Women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, bio-hazard.