Nail File

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?
Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

Organic Dental Floss

Q: What's organic dental floss?
A: Pubic hair.

Watch Where You Step

A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, ''Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."