Little Johnny Helps Grandma

One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma's kitchen. "Where's my bucket and where's my water?" Grandma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Grandma," exclaimed Johnny. "There's a big ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

Nail File

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?
Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

Organic Dental Floss

Q: What's organic dental floss?
A: Pubic hair.