Bumper Sticker Lines

• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
• Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
• Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
• Adults are just kids who owe money.
• Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
• I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
• You! Off my planet! 
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that? 

Detective Agent

Q: What detective would make the best real estate agent?
A: Sherlock Holmes

Blonde Bedtime

Q: What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10 p.m.?
A: She goes home.