Eating a Lot

When I was young, I used to eat a lot because my parents told me that fat kids are harder to kidnap.

Symbols

Q: If a stork symbolizes birth what type of bird symbolizes birth control?
A: A swallow.

The Painter's Eyesight

A world famous painter started losing her eyesight in the prime of her career. After several surgeries and weeks of therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter decided to show her gratitude to her surgeon by painting a mural with pairs of eyes in every shade and shape in his office. When she finished, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art. One reporter asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office?" "Thank God I'm not a gynecologist."