Yo Mama - Sneeze

Yo mama is so old, when she sneezes, dust flies out.

Answering Machine - Twilight Phone

Rod Serling imitation: You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".

Job Trouble

I'm not having much luck with jobs lately:
I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory.
I wasn't suited to be a tailor.
The muffler factory was just exhausting.
I couldn't cut it as barber.
I didn't have the patience to be a doctor.
I didn't fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.
The paper shop folded.
Pool maintenance was too draining.
I got fired from the cannon factory.
And I just couldn't see any future as a historian.