Knockout Decisions

Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with either gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation

Mary Had

Mary had a little sheep, with this sheep, she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram, and Mary had a little lamb.

You Want Ketchup With That

A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that horse shit, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" He Salesman says, "why do you ask?" She says "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."