Accomplishments

There are two ways to approach a task. The way I do it, or on drugs.
It's my way or the high way.

Delayed

Hey, sorry it took me 6 days to respond to your text message, I myself am understaffed at the moment.

Getting a Close Shave

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech."And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."