Food Jokes

Questionable Qualified Employee

So I was calling to order a pizza, with the menu in hand, I order a large pizza with ground beef, bacon, and extra cheese and the girl on the phone says, "Oh I'm sorry we don't have any ground beef." So I say, "but here on the menu it says you have hamburger" and she responds, "Oh well we have hamburger!" So I said, "Okay I'll take the hamburger instead of the ground beef then." She says, "No problem!"

Anonymous

Substitutes

Q: How is a soy-burger like a dildo?
A: They're both substitutes for meat.

Anonymous

Construction Worker's Favorite Meal

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site. The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favorite meal being beef soup. But one day the chef ran out of meat and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there was no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place. At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup. During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delight that the soup tasted extremely good today and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces.
The chef asked, "What's the matter boys, did I screw up the cooking?" "No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the screwing."

Anonymous
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