Construction Worker's Favorite Meal

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site. The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favorite meal being beef soup. But one day the chef ran out of meat and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there was no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place. At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup. During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delight that the soup tasted extremely good today and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces.
The chef asked, "What's the matter boys, did I screw up the cooking?" "No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the screwing."

Nuts

Two nuts were walking down the street, one was a salted!

Bad Cook

My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screens.