Apple Patent

A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors' help group. When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, "You don't understand! Taste it." A volunteer tried it and said, "Mmmmmmm, tastes like peaches." The inventor said, "Flip it over." He flipped it over and took another chunk of the apple. "Mmmmmmmm, tastes like grapes." The inventor offered a new apple and the volunteer said, "What does it taste like?"
"Pussy," said the inventor. The guy bit into it, and spit it out with an awful look on his face and shouted, "That tasted like ass!"
The inventor winked and said, "Flip it over."

Egg Jokes

Do egg jokes crack you up? Or do they make you scramble away?
Omelette you think about it...

Questionable Qualified Employee

So I was calling to order a pizza, with the menu in hand, I order a large pizza with ground beef, bacon, and extra cheese and the girl on the phone says, "Oh I'm sorry we don't have any ground beef." So I say, "but here on the menu it says you have hamburger" and she responds, "Oh well we have hamburger!" So I said, "Okay I'll take the hamburger instead of the ground beef then." She says, "No problem!"