Yogurt Visits a Local Bar

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

Spider Diet

Q: What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
A: Burgers and flies.

Caffeine

In Arkansas a man woke from a nineteen-year coma and asked for a Pepsi. "Just a small glass," he said. "Caffeine keeps me up."