A Favor

I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so.. Do you have a piece of gum?

Restaurant Menu

So I have an idea for a fast-food restaurant. It's really simple, 4 plain combos.

#1 is the Value combo, likely just a burger/fries/drink or something cheap.

#2 is the bigger combo, likely advertised since it's more "mouth-watering" or at least looks good in photos.

#3 is the all-day breakfast with coffee

 #4 will be just 2 corndogs

The menu reads:  It's 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready, and Go-Dog Go

George W. Bush and Jewish Friend

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. They arrived and Dubya's friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George looked at the soup suspiciously, but his friend urged him to try at least one taste. So he took a bite of matzo ball and slurped some soup and clearly liked it. After Dubya was finished he said, "Mmm mmm, that was good! But tell me, do you Jewish folks eat other parts of the matzo, or just the balls?"