Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

Lost at Krogers

There's a very sad Muslim kid, standing alone in Krogers and crying because he can't find his mother.
A kind store attendant bends over and asks, "Honey, it's going to be alright.  We'll find your mom.  Tell me, what does your mother look like?"
The kid replied, "I have no fucking idea."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
Anonymous

Amish Heat

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did, and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did, and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?" The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!"

Categories: Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Weather Jokes (So Cold Here Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Anonymous

Blonde Weighs Baby

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Aunt Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes)
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Anonymous
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