Jokes about Families - Man Criticizes Woman

Just Before I Die

Showing his friend around his his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. "The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth." "Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!" "And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

No More Tricks

A newlywed bride and groom had been busy at "it" for three days straight. The groom arose early and was reading the paper, thinking it was time to do something else. When his bride woke up, he said, "Honey would you like to see Oliver Twist?" His bride replied, "You show me one more trick with that thing and I'm going home to mother!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Same Response

My wife often complains to me when she's drunk. Last night she complained when she was sober.
Non alcoholic whine.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Alcohol Jokes (Wine Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips
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