Christmas Trees Better

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman:

1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
3. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
4. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
5. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

Double Vodkas

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day." "Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay." The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!" On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

Old And Overweight

A wife asked her husband, "Honey, will you still love me when I am old and overweight?" The man replied, "Yes, I do."