Jokes about Families - Grandmother Jokes

Grandmother Too

Grandmother and granddaughter were in the bank when three bank robbers walked in and held it up. "All the ladies down on the floor," one handsome robber commanded. "My grandmother too?" the little girl asked. "Yes, your grandmother too!" "All the ladies on the floor, pull up your dresses." "My grandmother too?" "Yes, your grandmother too! All ladies will now remove their panties." "Surely you don't mean my grandmother too?" asked the little girl. Becoming angry, the handsome robber shouted, "YES, YOUR GRANDMOTHER TOO! Now, all the ladies on the floor are to spread their legs apart." When the little girl started to ask if her grandmother was included, her grandmother snarled, "YOU HEARD WHAT THE MAN SAID!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Partial Deck

A girl comes home from school and tells her grandma that a boy at has asked her out for a date. This being her first date, her grandma gives her some rules. "If he tries to come near you or hug you, its fine. If he tries to kiss you, well thats fine too. But if he tries to lay you down and get on top of you, just push him and get out of there." The innocent girl was confused and asked, "Why grandma?" Grandma replied, "Because then he will disgrace our family." The girl having learned the lesson goes on her date. When she returns, her grandma asked her what happened. She replied, "Everything went well. First he hugged me, then kissed me. But then he tried to lay me down. So instead I got on top of him and disgraced his family."

Anonymous

Grandma

Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.
I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.

Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips
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