Rolling Stones V Scotsman

Q: What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?
A: One says "Hey, you, get out of my cloud." The other says "Hey, McCloud, get out of my ewe."

Scottish Toads

Q: What do Scottish toads play?
A: Hop-scotch!

Genie's Slide

There was an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman. One day they came across a ladder and climbed up it, as one does. At the top of the ladder there was a genie and she said: "As you go down this slide, shout out whatever you want to land in..." So the Englishman shouted "Beeeeeeer." The Scotsman shouts "Whisssskey." And the poor old Irishman shouted, "Weeeeeeeee!"