Ethnic / Country Jokes - Scottish Jokes

Scottish Gleam in Eye

One night a Scottish couple took a walk through a beautiful lit up town. The woman says to the man, ''You want to hold my hand, don't you?'' The man says,''Yes, how did you know?'' She says, ''By the gleam in your eye.'' So they held hands. A little down the road the woman says to the man, ''You want to kiss me don't you?'' The man says,''Yes, how did you know?'' She says, ''By the gleam in your eye.'' So they kissed and kept walking. A little later the woman asks the man, ''You want to screw me don't you?'' The man says, ''How did you know? By the gleam in my eye?'' The woman says, ''No, by the tilt in your kilt.''

Anonymous

Scottish Pocket Watch

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time. "That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other. "Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch. "Really?" "Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed."

Anonymous

Scottish Sheep and Peruvian Goat

Q: What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat?
A: The Dolly Llama.

Anonymous
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