10 Things Found Only In America

1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Intense Study

Q: Did you hear about the Polack who studied for 5 days?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.

Amsterdam Semester Abroad

Possible Courses In Amsterdam:

• Essentials of Bong Design: Discover earth, water, wind, and fire as the tools you'll need to get rid of your syllabus... some killer hashish.
• Smuggling 101: Who says the party's over? Years of commerce have made this Northern culture an expert at turning a rectum into a set of luggage.
• Medieval Condom Use: Even Sir Lancelot had a rash. Discover how centuries of crotch scratchers protected their privates with specially designed shields.
• The Development of Puke: Our native-born instructors take students from heaving to hurling.
• Architecture of Early Modern Brothels: With the aid of walking tours and guest hooker lecturers.