What it Means to be French

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
If there's a war you can surrender really early.
You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star..
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

Do You Reaize Who You Are Talking To?

 A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

Fertility Candle

Mrs Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flanagan. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be there any wee little ones yet?" She replied, "No, not yet, Father." The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a fertility candle for ye and yer hoosband." She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father..." They then parted ways.. 
Some years later they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs Donovan, how are ye these days?" She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!" The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?" She replied, "Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!" The Father said, "That's wonderful! And how is yer loving hoosband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to  Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!"