The Joy of Being Self-employed

The Newfoundland Department of Employment claimed a commercial boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to St. John's to investigate him.
Government agent: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my hired hand; he's been with me for three years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Lamb's rum and a dozen Labatt Lite beers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
GOVT AGENT: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one."
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"

Pregnant Polish Girl

Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"

Canadian History Lesson

On my last trip to Canada, I had the rare pleasure of meeting the leading historian of this great country. Out of curiosity I asked him how their country got it's name. Below is his explanation:
There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada. "You know," said the first explorer, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
"I agree," said the second explorer.
"Great idea" quipped the third explorer.
"We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
"Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."?The second said: "N, eh."
The first... "D, eh."
And now you know the story.