Join a Club

The Yoko Club? - Oh no.
The German philosophy club? - I. Kant.
The Ford-Nixon club? - Pardon me?
The Arafat club? - Yessir.
The Alzheimer's club? - Forget it.
The Ebert movie club? - Roger.
The Groucho Marx club? - You bet your life.
The Peter Pan club? - Never. Never.
The Japanese theater club? - Noh.
The quarterback club? - I'll pass.
The Rhett Butler club? - I don't give a damn.
The compulsive rhymers club? - Okey-dokey.
The Spanish optometrists club? - Si.
The Anti-perspirant club? - Sure.
The pregnancy club? - Conceivably.
The Procrastinator's Club? - Maybe next week...
The Self Esteem Builders? - They wouldn't accept me anyway
The Agoraphobics Society? - Only if they meet at my house
The Co-Dependence Club? - Can I bring a friend?
The Prayer Group? - God willing!

German Out of Bathtub

Q: How do you get a German out of the bath?
A: Turn on the water.

Post Office Recall

Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen?
A: People were confused about which side to spit on