Pregnant Polish Girl

Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"

Canadian History Lesson

On my last trip to Canada, I had the rare pleasure of meeting the leading historian of this great country. Out of curiosity I asked him how their country got it's name. Below is his explanation:
There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada. "You know," said the first explorer, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
"I agree," said the second explorer.
"Great idea" quipped the third explorer.
"We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
"Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."?The second said: "N, eh."
The first... "D, eh."
And now you know the story.

Penny Thoughts

A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while; then the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts."
The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What arre ye thinkin' now?"
To which the lad replied: "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!"