Iraqi and American Soldier Injured

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'" "He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'" "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."

New Language Courses in Ameirca

New languages being taught in America:

• Afro-American Speak -- Ebonics (or We-Beonics)
• Irish-American Speak -- Leprechaunics
• Native-American Speak -- Kimosabics
• Italio-American Speak -- Spumonics (or Rigatonics)
• Chinese-American Speak -- Won-tonics
• Japanese-American Speak -- Mama-san-ics
• Polish-American Speak -- Kielbasanics
• Jewish-American Speak -- Zionics
• Russian-American Speak -- Rasputonics
• Spanish-American Speak -- Flan-ics
• Scottish-American Speak -- Tartan-ics
• Eskimo-American Speak -- Harpoonics
• German-American Speak -- Autobaunics (or Teutonics)
• Canadian-American Speak -- EH?onics
• Florida Democratic Voters Speak -- Moronics

Irish Assault and Battery

In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. "Four glasses of ale," was the reply. "Next?" "Two glasses of whiskey." "Next?" "One glass of brandy." "Next?" "A fight."