Blind Pirate

Q: How can you identify an blind pirate?
A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

One Legged

Q: What do you call a girl with only one arm and one leg?
A: Eileen!

Priorities

Three guys go into a bar, one in a wheelchair, one is blind and the other appears normal. A couple of minutes later, God walks in to get a beer. He sees the guys and decides to have compassion on them. He touches the blind guy on the forehead, and his sight is restored. He touches the man in the wheelchair and the guy jumps up and walks away. He walks to the last guy and the guy yells, 'Whoa, God! I'm on workman's comp!'