Dead Babies

Q: What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?
A: Dead babies.. because you can use a pitchfork.

Launched on the 4th of July

Three young men in Oklahoma were enjoying the coming Fourth of July holiday and wanted to test fire some fireworks. The only real problem was, their launch pad and seating arrangements were atop a several hundred thousand gallon fuel distillation storage tank. Oddly enough, fumes were ignited, producing a fireball seen for miles. They were launched several hundred feet into the air and found dead some 250 yards from their respective seats.

Six Weeks to Live

A guy goes to see his doctor, and the doctor says, "Well, I'm afraid you have six weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh damn, well what should I do doctor?" The doctor tells him, "You should take a mud bath once a day for the next six weeks," and the guy asks, "Why? Is that supposed to help?" and the doctor says, "No, but it'll get you used to being in the ground."