Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Know For Sure

There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, "This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."

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Anonymous

Golf

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.  The other three gathered around him and asked, "Whats wrong?" Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."  One of his buddies asked,  "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"  Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole!"  "Oh my God", the other golfers said, "That must have been horrible!".  "Horrible? You think it`s horrible?"  Bob cried in disbelief; "It was worse than that!!!!  Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice...

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Brown Paper Larry

A cowboy rides into town and sees a gallows under construction.  He calls to a carpenter, "Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?"
The guy nods. "Yup. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."
The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"
"Well," says the guy, "the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Brown paper shirts. Brown paper pants. Even brown paper socks."
The cowboy ponders this for a moment, then asks, "What are ya hangin' him for?"
"Rustling."

Anonymous
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