I Wanna Be A Commie

A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the checkup, the doctor tells the man he has bad news. "You only have six months to live." The man sits for a while thinking, and then says, "There's only one thing I can do, I'm going to become a Communist." The doctor asks, "You've been a patriotic American all your life, why are you going to become a Communist now?" The man says, "Better one of them should die than one of us!"

Angelic Husband

A woman tells her friend, "My husband is an angel." Her friend replies, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

Old Journalist

OLD JOURNALISTS never die, they just get de-pressed.