Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

A Henpecked Husband

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Psychiatrist Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Cold Bikers

Once, there were two bikers driving down the highway on a cold afternoon. "Man! commented one... it's FREEZING!!! and my coat won't zip up. The cold air is killing me!!" The other biker thought for a minute as they sped down the road. "Well, he said at last... you can turn your jacket around, then the open side would be at the back. You wouldn't get so cold that way." "Great idea!" commented the other. "stop and let me switch." The driver pulled over, and the passenger put his jacket on backwards. "There! he said when he had completed the switch. I feel better already." The two of them climbed back on the motorcycle and drove off. Then, suddenly they hit a patch of ice on the road, and spun off and crashed. A few minutes later a crowd had gathered, and when the ambulance arrived, the EMTs shouted out "Is anybody hurt?" One guy from the crowd replied  "Well, the driver was dead when I got here, and the other guy was doing alright until we fixed his head."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Weather Jokes (So Cold Here Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Boy Named Odd

There once was a boy named "Odd." People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died. Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Insult Jokes (Stupid Insults)
Anonymous
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