Russian Roulette

Q: What's the loss record for Pro Russian roulette players?
A: One

Old Never Dies

• OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire
• OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
• OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
• OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away
• OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged
• OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties
• OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
• OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away
• OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
• OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
• OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
• OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
• OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience
• OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen
• OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times

Constitution

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and I saw a guy hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning." He replied, "No, just having a shit."