Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Dying Request

An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctor's only to find he didn't have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate. 1. His Doctor 2. His Priest  3. His Lawyer. "Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave." After the man passed on, the 3 people happened to run into each other. The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me on lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested." The priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It's all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave." Well, the lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I am surprised at you two taking advantage of him like that. I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bobby Brown Interview

Reporter:  "Mr. Brown, knowing that your daughter drowned, like your wife, how do you feel?"
Bobby Brown:  "Drained!"

Copyright © 2015 - Kim Solem - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: kimmyalan

Blue

Q: What's blue and doesn't fit any more?
A: A dead epileptic.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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