Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Hostage Gives Instructions

A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!"

Categories: Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Anonymous

We Got a Lot of Those

Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask "Now what'd you go and do THAT for?" The Texan just drawled "Where I come from, we got a lot of those."
Not to be outdone, the Californian reaches in his saddle bag and pulls out a full bottle of the best Californian wine there is. He throws the bottle in the air, whips out his gun, and shoots it to pieces. The Oregonian and the Texan both groan, but the Californian is quick to point out, "Where I come from, we've got a lot of those."
Next the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of the best microbrew beer that Portland makes. He throws the bottle high up in the air, takes out his gun, shoots the Californian, catches the bottle, and proceeds to drink the beer. Horrified, the Texan asks why he would go and do a thing like that. "Well, where I come from, we got a lot of those, but the bottle's worth a nickel."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Oregon Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Texas Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Profession Jokes (Cowboy Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Nice Parrot

There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother. A few days later he calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he asked her. "Oh yes," she replied. "It was delicious." "WHAT!" the man cried. "You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!" The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he say something?"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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