Manage Your Stress!

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air. No one knows your secret place. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world." The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water. There now.....feeling better?

Eternal Optimist

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.
So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date. Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?'' And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.'' Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.'' Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!'' Joe says, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''

Dem Smart City Folk

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says. "Where can I buy one?", he asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says. "I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. "I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday. Is tomorrow OK?" "Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news. I went out after breakfast and the mule was dead." The city feller says "just give me my money back then." "Can't, spent it already!" "Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?"  "Raffle him off!" "Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!" "Just watch me! City fellers know a few tricks." One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into each other at the barber shop. "What did ya do with that dead mule?" "Raffled him off, sold 100 tickets at two dollars each and made 98 dollars profit." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Just one guy so I gave him his two dollars back!"