A Brain Transplant

A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, "What type of brain do you want?" "What type?" the woman asked. "Yes,"  replied the doctor. "There is a substantial difference in price. For example, a one-pound brain of a surgeon costs $60,000, while you can get a one-pound brain of a nuclear physicist for $50,000, and so on."  "Can you give me a one-pound lawyer's brain? Ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of being a trial attorney." "That's $250,000," the doctor replied. "Why so much?" the woman asked. "That's over four times what a surgeon's brain costs." "Do you have any idea how many lawyers it takes to produce a pound of brain?"  the doctor replied.

Chicken Exit

Q: Why did the chicken commit suicide? 
A: To get to the other side!

Building Graveyard

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the street from the retirement home?
A: So all the old people can see there futures!