Bar Jokes - Animal in Bar Jokes

Alligator Trick

A guy walks into a bar with a 10 foot long alligator. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that animal outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'll get sued." The guy says, "No no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth, zips up his pants, and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

In And Out Of Puddles

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. The bartender feels a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them.
He asks the first duck, "What's your name?"
"Huey," replies the duck.
"So, how's your day been?"
"Oh, I've had a great day," replies Huey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day."
The bartender asks the second duck, "What's your name?"
"Duey," replies the duck.
"So, how's your day been?"
"Oh, I've had a great day," replies Duey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day."
The witty bartender says to the third duck, "So I guess your name is Louie?"
The duck replies, "No, I'm Puddles."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bartender Surprise

A gorilla walks into a crowded bar, and being a huge gorilla, he has no trouble getting attention from the bartender and ordering. “I’ll have a Martini, please,” he says. The bartender figures the ape probably doesn’t know much about drink prices, and he says, “That’ll be $17.50.” To make small talk while making change, the bartender says, “Hey, you know, we don’t get many gorillas coming in here ordering Martinis.” The gorilla says, “At $17.50, I’m not surprised.”

Anonymous
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