Serving Bears at Bars

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars." The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there." The bartender says, "Go ahead." So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs." "What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs." "Yes, you are, that was the bar bitch you ate."

Taco Bell Dogs

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me!"  So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

Duck in a Bar

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here." The duck says, "I'll pay you $20." "Your money isn't good here." "Then put it on my bill."