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Art & Music Jokes
Banjo Jokes
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that's not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it.
Q: How can you tell the stage you're playing on is level?
A: The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.
Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos?
A: They make great anchors!
Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo?
A: They make good paddles.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: You can turn off a chainsaw.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?
A: You can tune a Harley.
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun?
A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times.
Q: Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
A: Saves time.
Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?
A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.
Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
A: By their names.
Q: What is the most seldom heard comment made of banjo players?
A: "Say, isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"
Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
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Who Would You Trust?
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions? An in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
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Not the Intended Profession
A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!" The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!" The bartender hooks a thumb over at a piano in the corner, "If that dog can play that piano, you both get a drink on the house!" The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are loving it. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?" The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a dentist."
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