God is an Artist

A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really?! How do you know?" asked the teacher. "You know? Our Father, who does art in Heaven."

Carinet

Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
A: You can't!

Torture

Q: What's the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured?
A: One is far more painful to your ears.