Art Gallery

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?" The husband replies, "Autumn."

Tenor Intelligence

Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
A: When the other tenors notice.

The Amazing Conductor

When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he knew the music by singing all parts of the Lucia sextet during rehearsal.  Afterwards, one musician was overheard whispering to the other, impressed, "Well, this kid really knows his stuff!"  The other replied, "I don't think he is so hot. Did you notice how flat his high E was at the end?"