Cave Dweller

Q: What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
A: Stalagmice!

The New Car

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car. So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I would like my car personalized. Would it be possible to have the 'Z' replaced with an 'S?'" The dealer said yes, and it was done. And, as the snail raced around the city in his brand new car, everyone would see, "Wow, look at that S-car-go."

Who Suffered?

Watching her mother as she tried on her new mink coat, the daughter protested, "Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that coat?"
Her mother glared back at her and said, "Don't talk about your father that way!"