Q: How do we know that insects are so clever?
A: Because they always know when your eating outside!
Parrot and Centipede
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. Killing any?" She asked."Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Q: What happened to the two bedbugs who fell in love?
A: They got married in the spring.
Q: Why did the fly fall off the toilet?
A: It got pissed off.