Three Dogs at the Vet

Three dogs were at the vet talking to each other, when they got to the topic of why they were there.
The first dog says, "I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here."
The second dog said, "I peed on my masters $1,000 rug."
The third dog then pipes up and says, "My master is a woman and she likes to clean house in the nude. So today, when she bent over to pick something up, I went for the ride of a life time!"
"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.
"No," replied the third. "I'm getting my nails clipped."

Doggone It

Q: What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!

Dog Chatter

There were three dogs at a vet's office. The first dog asked the second one why he was there. He replied by saying, "My owner has a really nice car and one day when he was taking me for a ride I just couldn't help myself I pissed all over the seats. He got really mad so he brought me here to be put to sleep." "Well then," the first dog said, "That is kinda what happened to me but a little different. Well you see my owner was kinda late coming home from work and I to couldn't help myself I crapped all over the new rug. So he to brought me here to put me to sleep." Then the two dogs asked the third one why he was there. The third dog said, "Well you see my owner likes to clean the house in the nude and one day when she was bending down to clean under the couch well I to couldn't help myself; I jumped on her back and had the ride of my life!" The first and second dog said, "Well let me guess she brought you here to have you put to sleep, right?" The dog replied, "Nope she brought me here to get my toe nails clipped."