Chinese dog treat

There were three men: an Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Chinese guy. They were having a competition to see which one could walk his dog over the desert without needing a drink. So the Englishman sets off, but he only gets half way. Then the Scotsman sets off, and he only gets half way too. But the Chinese guy manages to get all the way across the desert. The Englishman and the Scotsman asked him how he could possibly do that without any water? "Me Chinese. Me not Silly, Me stick mouth round doggy's willy"

Hacked and Confused

The first time was after the Target hack, then Home Depot was hit and the most recent was Anthem.
That makes three times I've had to rename my dog.
Ugh!

Bleeding with Two Legs

Q: What has two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog.