Cross Between a Woodpecker and a Carrier Pigeon

Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

Birds on Their Knees

Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!

You Might Be A Redneck 48

You might be a redneck if...

• You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
• Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa.
• Your masseuse uses lard.
• Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
• You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
• On stag night, you take a real deer.
• Your back porch is bigger than your house.
• There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.