Animal Jokes - Bird Jokes

We have tons of funny bird jokes! If it has wings, we can laugh about it. Get hilarious bird jokes on Jokerz.

Smitty the Parrot's Birthday

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?"
Smitty says, "I want to get laid."
So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.  
After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.  There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers.
"Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?"
Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

My Foot

|After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth. The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds. "Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!" The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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