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Animal Jokes
Cowboy Talks To Animals
A cowboy passes by a ranch and strikes up a conversation with the rancher sitting by the gate. The cowboy asks the rancher, "Mind if I talk to your dog over there?" "Damn fool, don't you know dogs can't talk?" The cowboy replies, "So what's the harm?" The rancher shrugs, "Go right ahead." The cowboy ambles up to the dog and says, "Howdy!" The dog replies, "Hello." The rancher's eyes pop wide open. The cowboy continues, "Does your master here treat you alright?" "Sure does. He feeds me, lets me sleep inside, and every day he takes me to the lake." The cowboy asks the shocked rancher, "Mind if I talk to your horse over there?" The rancher replies, "Now, I don't know what you're up to, but I know for a fact that horses can't talk." "Well then, what's the harm?" "Go right ahead," says the rancher. The cowboy says to the horse, "Hello." The horse replies, "Hello." The rancher's jaw drops. The cowboy asks, "Your owner here treat you OK?" "Sure," replies the horse, tossing his mane. "He rides me every day, brushes me down, feeds me good, and he keeps me in the barn out of the bad weather." The cowboy looks satisfied and turns to the rancher, "Are those your sheep over there?" The rancher looks alarmed and stammers, "Listen...them sheep out there, they're -- they're nothing but a bunch of liars!"
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Lawyer And Pitbull
Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier?
A: Lipstick !
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Bear Hunt
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it, but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, so he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast, but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
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