Centipede Compliment

Q: What did one centipede say to the other centipede?
A: You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs ....

Bear Hunt

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it, but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, so he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast, but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

Walking A Rottweiler

Q: What is the best time to take a Rottweiler for a walk?
A: Any times he wants to!