Smart Dog

A man walks into a bar. After buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers, "Wow, that's a really smart dog!" The player whispers backs, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

Blonde and an Ape

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde with an ape?
A: A retarded ape.

Santa Suit

Q: What is the difference between Santa Clause and a warm dog?
A: Santa Claus wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!