An Irresolvable Problem

A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt. He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged. "Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist. "No," she said, not until recently. "I've been fucking a lot doggie style." "Well," said the podiatrist, "you are going to have to stop." "I can't," she replied, "that's the only way my German Shepherd fucks."

Penguins are Different

Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?
A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds.

Old Cat and Baby Kitten

Q: What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
A: An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!